Let’s Agree to Disagree Nicely

Friends. We all have them and want to be one. Do you know what the definition of a friend is? Let me ask our buddy Webster:

“…definition of friend: 1: a person who has a strong liking for and trust in another person. 2 : a person who is not an enemy or foe.”

That sounds correct. Don’t you think? It is fairly cut and dried. Friends are people you really like, trust, and that are not enemies.

The Bible has something to say about friendship, too. “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. (Proverbs 17:17)” Isn’t it comforting to know that a true friend loves at all times? Not just in good times, but also bad? Friends are supposed to always be friends, even during election year. So what is happening?


Are we allowing someone or something to come between us and our friends? Friendship takes work. Each friend needs to be respectful and considerate of the other. For me, friendship is like a safe haven in a storm. A place where I can always go to feel happy and unthreatened. True, we will not always agree on everything, but our tone will be respectful and loving. There will not be any degrading remarks. We will just agree to disagree and go on.

Unfortunately of late, I have noticed friends that are normally respectful and sweet take on a different persona. Snide comments are left on Facebook posts, hateful things are said about others, including friends, and the need to respond viciously overtakes normal caution. Is that because we can type a response without looking the commenter in the eyes? Our comment may “yell” back in all caps or contain offensive words our lips never speak. Our words cut deep without us having to witness the pain we inflicted.

It breaks my heart to see friend pitted against friend and family member against family member. I still choose to love each one, but their behavior troubles me. Are they succumbing to a plan that has blinded them? Why would these naturally loving and caring people become so callus and cold?

Maybe we should all think about what our words and actions are saying about our souls. Are they in line with the teachings of Jesus? When someone looks at me will they see a member of a political party or a member of the family of God? Will I be a friendly safe haven or a downgrading place of battle for my friends?

The solution? First, take inventory of yourself. Are you proud of how you are representing Jesus? Second, pray. Pray for our friends, our nation, and ourselves. Romans 3:11-12 says: “None is righteous, no, not one;
11     no one understands; no one seeks for God.
12 All have turned aside; together they have become worthless;
    no one does good, not even one.”

Someday this world will all be over. It will not matter which political party was our preference, only that Jesus was our King. Are we living as peacemakers and beacons for Him? I hope I am.


The best news is that we all have a friend that will be there for us. He died on the cross so that we might have eternal life. Scripture says in John 15:13-24 “Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. You are My friends if you do whatever I command you.”

Using His example, let’s pray for each other and be kind. Let’s be good friends and agree to disagree.

Famous Last Words

Words can be golden.  Movies can be identified by a memorable quote and songs by a few lyrics.  For the most part words are remembered whether for good or for bad.

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What would you say to someone if you knew it was the very last time the two of you would speak?  What would your last words be?  Facebook and social media are filled with nonsensical posts of quizzes designed to tell you which type of flower or animal you are.  They are also overflowing with venomous attacks on people we personally do not know.  That’s correct, politicians.  The colorful adjectives used are appalling.

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Petty arguments and grudges can slither their way into relationships and do irrevocable damage.  The hurtful last words spoken are forever engraved upon hearts.  Those hearts are left broken and yearning for healing.   Forgiveness withheld robs us of years of happy times and memories.  Perhaps “I’m sorry” are words that are long overdue to someone.  It would be devastating to miss that opportunity.

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What legacy do you want your words to leave?  If you knew you were having the last conversation with a friend or family would it change your words and tone?  Life changes everyday, and tomorrow is not guaranteed.  Scripture tells us not to let the sun set on our anger but to make amends.

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Me?  What would I say?  I would not waste my breath on small talk, but rather go straight to the things that I wanted my family or friend to understand.  Wouldn’t you?  Treasured memories would be shared as we relived them once again.  Yes, I would apologize for any wrong that I had done or they felt I had.  Perception is real to the beholder.  Most importantly, I would give forgiveness and love.

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When I speak to my parents, children, and best friend the last thing I say to them is I love you.  Three little words that mean so much.  Those words should chase away any doubt they might have if they were loved.  Absolutely, whole heartedly, and forever they are loved.  I would make sure they knew that God loved them, too.

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My words for you are that you, too, know you are eternally, unequivocally loved by your Creator.  The Bible overflows with verses verifying this.  Never doubt it, even in times of turmoil.   Call to Him  and let His love fill you and give you peace.

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It would be wonderful if we had the foresight to know when we were speaking to someone for the last time.   Since we don’t, the next best thing is to temper our words with love and speak as if those were our last words.  Let’s make all of our words be worthy of being famous last words.

What is love?

Valentine’s Day is fast approaching.  Our hearts and minds are turning to love.  How do you celebrate?  Is it a time for just you and your sweetheart?  Perhaps you include your children in the holiday and make it truly about love.

In our family it is a day centered around love for everyone. We send cards to family and buy presents for our grandkids besides spending time for ourselves.  It is not just a romantic holiday for me and my hubby.  Our pets even get a new toy.

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When our kiddos were still at home we included them.  I remember making a red heart shaped cake or a red velvet cake to have for dessert.  They would get cards and a gift or money.  Sure the hubby and I carved out time for each other to remember our love, too.

Love should be lived, spoken, and shared everyday.  Do you agree?  I am talking about true, unblemished love.  Everyone flourishes when loved, even plants.  Where do we begin to find out just what love is if we want to do this right? The Bible in First Corinthians gives us the best answer.

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In I Corinthians 13 we are provided a guideline about love.  This scripture explains all about what it is and isn’t.  As we read what love is, think about the people you love.  Is your love in line with the definition?  Are you patient with them and not easily angered?

“Love is patient.

Love is kind.

It does not envy.

It does not boast.

It is not proud.

It is not rude.

It is not self-seeking.

It is not easily angered.

It keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects,

Always hopes,

Always perseveres.

Love never fails.”

How did you do on your check list.  Me, I could stand some improving.  For one thing, patience is something that I am constantly honing.  Certainly I have failed in many of the other areas, but after writing this blog it has given me a wake up call. I need to love others better, and I will.

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Jesus commands us (not suggests) to love one another as He has loved us in John 13:34.  “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”  Wow.  That is a high standard.  No, let me change it to the highest standard.  The gold standard.  Even though we are mere humans we can still strive for it.

God has always loved us and always will.  He has plans for each one of us and sent Jesus to redeem us.  Scripture says He loves with an everlasting love.  That is unending, pure, powerful love.  That verse is so sweet to my spirit that I drink my coffee out of this cup.

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Please join me in pondering this scripture and how we truly love others, even family.  As I ask these questions of myself, you could search for your own answers.  Am I patient, kind, hopeful, protective, and does my love persevere?  I’m not proud, envious, boastful, easily angered, rude or self-seeking, am I?  Do I keep track of when people do me wrong?  Has my love ever failed someone?  How can I improve and love others as Jesus did.

Enjoy this season of love and remember how loved you are.

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